I Heard A Noise
by ShipperWriter
Summary: During a party, Lorne is running an errand when he hears noises ... coming from a closet ... For all the McKellers on the GW Forum thread, this is the non-smutty closet fic I promised you!
1. Evan Lorne Hears A Noise

Evan Lorne wasn't really sure why they had this big event tonight that required everyone to dress up. And no, it didn't mean that the officers could wear their dress uniforms. They all had to get tuxes; he was sure the women of Atlantis had been behind it. He remembered Laura Cadman once remarking, "A man in uniform is a turn on; a man in a tux is downright sexy."

It had been enough to convince him, he reminisced with a smile.

During the party, someone -- was it Laura, he wasn't sure now -- had mentioned that they were starting to run out of napkins and asked if he would get some from the dining room. Evan couldn't remember why he'd agreed -- oh yeah, she'd said it with a Texan accent and he'd grinned like a schoolboy -- so he was walking down a corridor, holding a plastic wrapped package of napkins when he heard something fall.

Instantly he dropped the napkins and pulled out his 9 mil, safely hidden in the waistband of his pants -- just to be on the safe side, right? After all, everyone in the city had been ordered to attend, so any noise in the city of Atlantis was considered suspicious. The corridor turned just ahead and dead ended into a straight corridor.

Straight in front of him was a storage supply closet.

He moved closer and instantly stood still when he heard a muttered curse.

"Was that important?" a feminine voice quietly asked from inside the closet.

"Eeh. Nothing that I can't recreate," a rather arrogant voice replied.

"Oh. Okay, good--" and the woman's voice, who Lorne recognized with a slight groan, was abruptly cut off with a moan.

Embarrassed, Lorne smiled to himself and started to back away, tucking his weapon back in.

Until he heard --

"Lorne, what took you so long? Cadman sent me after you." John Sheppard offered in way of greeting.

"Oh, uh," he tried to say, glancing to the fallen napkins, "I just thought I'd heard something. Turned out to be nothing."

"Ah, okay." And then, just as the two of them fell silent, Evan heard another muffled moan from the closet. He tried to cough to cover it over, but John's ears were too sensitive. Glancing back at Lorne, he wryly said, "I think Dr. Keller needs to check your hearing, Lorne," and reached to open the closet.

Lorne quickly spun away as John backed up.

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa!" "Oh my God!" "Holy crap, McKay!"

And Lorne just cringed.

Dr. Rodney McKay and Dr. Jennifer Keller were standing inside the enclosed space, so close together that you couldn't fit a needle through. Rodney's jacket was lying on the floor next to Jennifer's shawl which had previously been covering her shoulders, left bare by the strapless satin gown. His bowtie was undone and laying around his shoulders. His hands were lost in her hair and hers were tightly woven around his neck. An Ancient looking device of some type was laying on the floor, obviously not in its original state.

They both looked up rather sheepishly, and Lorne smiled at them sympathetically.

They disengaged their hands and both cleared their throats, both turning to face the officers. "Umm, hi, John," Rodney squeaked.

Jennifer covered her mouth and chuckled, looking away.

John's expression was priceless. It bordered on shock, anger, disbelief, complete and utter fright, and some other things that probably didn't have a name yet.

"Hi, Rodney," John replied through gritted teeth, trying not to smirk at him.

Rodney clasped his hands together in front of him as Jennifer crossed her arms, chewing nervously on a nail. "Enjoying the party?" he asked with a lifted smile on his face.

"Well I _was_." Throwing a sideways glare at Lorne, he added, "Thanks for telling me."

Lorne bowed out, picked up the napkins, and headed back to the event.


	2. John Sheppard Deals With It

This chapter has a brief mention/hint of Jack/Sam ... hope you like it!

* * *

John watched as Lorne fled around the corner and silently started to met out punishment for the major next time that he saw him.

Meanwhile, Rodney and Jennifer had bent over and were starting to pick up the items that had made their way to the floor. John sighed, stuffed his hands in his pockets, and looked around. Through an open window, he noticed two of the moons making an appearance. He remembered something was supposed to happen when the moons came out, but the thought slipped his mind, going back to thinking, _How do I deal with this? How do I forget this ever happened?_

A soft cough from behind him dragged him out of his thoughts. "Umm, John? Are you going to do anything?" Jennifer asked, pulling her shawl further up her shoulders.

"Like what?" he asked, turning around to face the doctors.

"Well you just caught two senior officers of this expedition making out in the closet! And if you think that this all just started tonight, you're crazy!" Rodney exclaimed, and Jennifer's cheeks started to blush lightly. "And we all know what happens to people who try and have a normal relationship around here. I mean, Sam, well, one of the reasons that Sam came out here was try to be able to maintain her marriage! And she still got dragged back to Earth!"

"McKay . . ."

"And then there's you and Elizabeth. And oh, that was a little insensitive, wasn't it?" He glanced to Jennifer for confirmation. "Sorry, John, but this is the way it is. You and Elizabeth _loved_ each other, and because of some stupid rules that were put in the place so that the armed forces don't go to pot, you weren't allowed to embrace that!"

Surprisingly, John didn't punch him. He had crossed his arms, and hung his head, nodding in agreement.

Rodney sighed and stepped closer. "John. We _all_ knew. We loved Elizabeth and we, umm, well, the guys respect and like you and the women love you and . . . anyhow my point: on the best of days you two could run this city without a care in the world. And when we lost her, I know that it broke your heart. Kinda like when I found out Sam and O'Neill had gotten together. And oh, that wasn't the best thing to say either, sorry, Jennifer. But, ooh, what am I saying?"

"That while you fell sorry for me, you want your chance?" John summed up, raising his head to look at his friends.

Rodney's mouth gaped open in surprise and was about to retort when she touched his arm from behind. "Rodney . . ."

"No, Doc, he's right," John replied, smiling briefly. "I really am happy for you guys. And as far as I see it, there's no problem as far as your positions go. I'd just keep it on the down low for now, I don't know how other people will react to it." He looked between them and grinned. "You kids enjoy the night," he told them, and then started walking away.

"Oh, by the way, Rodney . . ."

"Yeah?"

John had put his hands back in his pocket as he turned around to face them. "Being in our positions, Elizabeth and I weren't allowed to be together." He smirked. "That didn't mean we weren't."

And John walked away.


End file.
